[ just standing outside mcdonalds with a monkey on his shoulders looking at a burning bush like he's moses about to get a revelation from god... wtf happened here ]
[she is up here! and she startles slightly when he looks up at her in the tree. there's a long pause where she kind of just... stares at him, like a bird.
and then:]
Yes? [what. what do you want!! like she's not the one being a weirdo.]
anyway he's out here with money to give him some freedom after being cooped up inside for so long. as bad as the vibes presumably are, he seems... maybe a little less uncomfortable with it than might be expected. ]
[i need you to know i have a post set up for you on my journal and i keep going to it and being really confused that it has no comments on it because i am a fool
anyway, we're at the movie theater!
she looks at simon like ???]
... I assume you know what these are. [everybody always knows more than her...]
[ four again. simon really doesn't care about any of them, and he's done bothering with pretending otherwise, so he's trying to keep his distance from the group lest someone overhear his thoughts about just how few fucks he gives and decide to punch him for it.
he's hanging out in the park on a bench and messing around with that stupid gacha game on his phone while money wanders around the playground. ]
it's stranger, on this side. there should be more sadness but there isn't, for her. she's more relieved than anything. it's a relief, to see wolfwood again. so... she's a little sad, but mostly, she's just tired and a little hungover.
when she sees simon she pauses, and then there's a distant thought of should leave him alone because she figures he's not really a big fan of any of them in the graveyard. at the very least she brings her phone up so that she can stop it from playing this as she wanders.]
[ well i'm not sure where they are or what's happening right now, maybe she's doing his hair again because it is touch week along with everything else week. regardless, time to get slammed with a memory which he has at least seen enough times in the past month now that he doesn't react very strongly anymore. ]
anyway i'm going to give you a memory right back because six year olds facing trauma is unfortunately same hat. i'm too lazy to put it in an entry so:
You are sitting in the garden of your childhood home, in a little village that you've grown up in. You are six years old, and your father has been away for a year, though you're not sure why. It makes you sad, sometimes, when you think about it. Your mother is gone, and the village takes turns making sure that you aren't starving, but for the most part, you're just alone, making up stories and playing with the stray dogs in the village. It's lonely. You're very lonely.
So when your father returns after that year, and he gives you a smile that borders on manic, you don't notice how it looks. You're overjoyed - father is back, and maybe this time, he won't leave. Maybe this time your curse won't drive him away. You can be good this time. You will find a way to make sure that you don't hurt him or anybody else ever again. Maybe he's forgiven you for what happened to your mother.
He doesn't even wash up, when he returns. He comes straight to the garden and smiles widely at you, and says that you should come with him to the cave in the mountains behind the village. He has a surprise for you, to make up for the fact that he hasn't been home. You don't really hope for much, but. A toy would be nice! Maybe a kite, or something that the two of you can play with together.
Your father brings you to the cave. You make sure your long black hair is out of the way, ready for whatever the surprise is.
But he barely even pays attention to you as he strides into the cave. He goes right to the altar in the middle, constructed out of stone, and he flicks through a book, and he mutters. And you take a step forward because you're unsure. Maybe you should help? You take another step forward, and then - out of the book swirls something dark and hideous, a black and rotting creature that has no shape at first as it crawls out. It drips out of the book, and your father turns and starts to walk away.
You're confused - you're a little scared, so you say, "Father?" and he ignores you, and so you look back at the shadows that soak down out of the pages, and you see it is growing teeth. It is watching you with bright blood-red eyes, and when it meets your gaze, it licks its lips.
You stumble back, and you start to cry - you are six years old, and this is the scariest thing you've ever seen - and you turn and race after your father. This isn't what he meant, right? This can't be the surprise - but he pushes you to the ground and sneers at you.
"You are a cursed child," he spits, and you stare up at him from where you're crumpled on the ground. You reach for him. No, it - no, this time, it'll be better. This time you won't bring ruin to everybody around you, you promise, you will find a way to be good, but he just shakes his head and keeps walking. "Your life brings nothing but disaster to us all."
You stand, shakily, and run, but something grabs your leg, and you scream as the monster drags you back. Your father leaves.
"At least if you die, I can bring her back." And the light from outside vanishes as the monster pulls you towards its mouth.
But as a child - a child who hasn't grown up just yet, a child who hasn't forsaken emotion and the joys of living because you know that you aren't allowed those anymore - you don't want to die. You want to play outside, and you want to make friends with the other children in the village, and you want your mother back, and you want your father to love you, and you don't want to die you don't want to die you want to live --
The sleeping calamitous fates, violent urges, and unyielding spirit within you burst their bonds all at once. They are your unseen shield, your invisible blade, and they are all that your frail form has to protect yourself. You have a dagger that belonged to your mother. Instinct has you cut open part of the monster and it wails, and you run to hide. Your next attack is with fangs and claws; you swear to tear that wretched creature before you to shreds — to prove that you, and not it, are the cruelest evil that stalked the darkness.
For days, your life-and-death battle is one without end. Hunter and hunted switch places many times, the conflict locked in stalemate. Sometimes it rips at your skin and sometimes it just chases you when it finds you. Sometimes you beat it back just enough to find some time to rest. But you are exhausted. You can't sleep. You're hungry, and you're thirsty, and everything hurts, but you don't want to die. You refuse. You won't. But there's only so much that your tiny body can handle, and eventually, you collapse. You're afraid. You know it is coming, the monster, with its snakelike body and hungry maw. But you can't find the strength to continue.
And that's when the tide changes.
A vivid icy light pierces through the dark like skyglow, showing the path to the future. A crystalline object falls down from nowhere, into your hands. You look down at it shakily, trying to breathe. You know, instinctively, that this will allow you to wield ice. That you can use this to decide which monster will live, and which will die.
You pull yourself to your feet one more time. You wipe the tears away.
It's the last time you ever cried. It's the last time you felt anything at all.
a pause.]
Oh. [...] I didn't like this when it happened the first time, either.
[ simon's been in a pretty visibly bad mood all evening, and at some point he'll take a break from wherever the hell the party is happening and step outside, where he's summoning a tiny fireball to light a cigarette. ]
[she will come sit down next to him, eventually. she's a little buzzed, but she also needs a break form how loud people are. she doesn't seem to mind the bad mood.]
... You are going to go back to enact your plan, yes?
week 0, friday
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she comes up to stand next to him, staring at the bush... is there something interesting about the bush, she wonders...
like she didn't set it on fire. listen. she's also fascinated by the monkey.]
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There's, uh. A bunch of stuff on fire, huh?
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Does that bother you?
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week 0, monday
as he chaperones, he happens to look up at the lone tree in the park, and... does a double take at what appears to be someone up.. in the tree...??? ]
Uh...?
[ squints to try to get a better look from his current position.
hello???? ]
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and then:]
Yes? [what. what do you want!! like she's not the one being a weirdo.]
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w2, SATURDAY
here's my question to you do you want angry shenhe or less angry shenhe
either way she's in the park, so at least there's that.]
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anyway he's out here with money to give him some freedom after being cooped up inside for so long. as bad as the vibes presumably are, he seems... maybe a little less uncomfortable with it than might be expected. ]
H-hey...
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she does pause when simon speaks, though, and the flames falter and splutter out.]
... Hello. [the vibes are rancid, but she's hesitating because she doesn't want to accidentally hurt him. he didn't do anything wrong.]
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Um, I guess I don't really need to ask how you're doing...
So it was just because someone messed with your emotions earlier that you were so calm for the first part of the trial?
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w3, MONDAY
anyway, we're at the movie theater!
she looks at simon like ???]
... I assume you know what these are. [everybody always knows more than her...]
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IF YOU MADE A HEADER I CAN LIKE?? ADD IT TO THIS ONE?? ]
Um... the movies, you mean...?
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... Yes. [what the fuck is a movie. she seems slightly frustrated.] Every week they bring new things and I've got no idea what they are.
Explain to me what a movie is. [guess what her insecurities are]
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O-okay, uh... Well, you said before that your world had like, opera and stuff, right?
[ that was hard to forget because why opera ]
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[gy] w6, friday
he's hanging out in the park on a bench and messing around with that stupid gacha game on his phone while money wanders around the playground. ]
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it's stranger, on this side. there should be more sadness but there isn't, for her. she's more relieved than anything. it's a relief, to see wolfwood again. so... she's a little sad, but mostly, she's just tired and a little hungover.
when she sees simon she pauses, and then there's a distant thought of should leave him alone because she figures he's not really a big fan of any of them in the graveyard. at the very least she brings her phone up so that she can stop it from playing this as she wanders.]
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he waves. ]
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[gy] w7, monday
Mm. Love that that's happening again.
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anyway i'm going to give you a memory right back because six year olds facing trauma is unfortunately same hat. i'm too lazy to put it in an entry so:
a pause.]
Oh. [...] I didn't like this when it happened the first time, either.
[gazes.]
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he is also like "what the fuck" and it takes him a moment to process all the shared themes here.
... ]
Your dad sucks.
[ another similarity, though he didn't realize it about his own for a very long time. ]
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w7, saturday
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... You are going to go back to enact your plan, yes?
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I'm not sure.
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