[well - it's relatable. this is a little bit how she feels emotions, these days. before, the first time emotionshare was a thing, she'd felt things so distantly, in a little box pushed away from everything else.
but now, after weeks of being dead and not caring to keep herself restrained for the sake of others, she feels almost... violently, bright and colorful. she gets that hatred and confusion and guilt, and there's a touch of sympathy in return. or maybe empathy. she knows. this sort of thing is complicated.]
My father is dead. [she doesn't seem to have any particular emotion attached to him, funnily enough.] I'm told he felt regret for what he did, and I think that it wasn't enough to be regretful.
[a pause, and she gently reaches out and tucks simon's hair behind his ear before pulling back. all of these effects at once are such a cocktail of bwuh.]
[ he nods at what she says about her father. probably good he's dead, definitely good that she kept him cut out of her life. ]
No, it isn't.
[ that's how he's always felt about it; if you ruin someone's life, you can feel as bad about it as you want, but your remorse isn't going to do a damn thing for that person and they have no obligation to ever forgive you. horace had felt guilty about what happened that day for the rest of his life and apologized dozens of times. none of it undid anything.
...
it's still that same complicated mix of feelings, but her question kind of pulls him out of it, and he looks back at her. ]
What, back home, you mean?
[ a beat, then another laugh. ]
No. Not until very recently. The short version is I ended up at a shitty orphanage run by a rotten crook, saw something I wasn't supposed to see, then spent the next twelve years in hiding from the people who were behind the whole thing who wanted to shut me up.
It was just in the last month before I ended up here that I finally got to put a plan in motion to start taking out all the people who'd made my life such a living hell.
Good. [she says, after a moment.] I hope that they suffer the consequences of what they did to you.
[that's all she had wanted, growing up. a way to get back at the thing that hurt her the most. she's not cunning enough to do something like a plan - for shenhe, revenge is straightforward. a spear through the chest, a blast of ice through the brain. but she'd had nothing to get revenge on. her father died a few days after she destroyed the monster in the cave. hung himself, out of guilt.
so to hear someone gets the chance to do this, to take back what was stolen from him in some way - well. her morals aren't really good enough to be a bigger person.]
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but now, after weeks of being dead and not caring to keep herself restrained for the sake of others, she feels almost... violently, bright and colorful. she gets that hatred and confusion and guilt, and there's a touch of sympathy in return. or maybe empathy. she knows. this sort of thing is complicated.]
My father is dead. [she doesn't seem to have any particular emotion attached to him, funnily enough.] I'm told he felt regret for what he did, and I think that it wasn't enough to be regretful.
[a pause, and she gently reaches out and tucks simon's hair behind his ear before pulling back. all of these effects at once are such a cocktail of bwuh.]
Have things gone better for you at all?
no subject
No, it isn't.
[ that's how he's always felt about it; if you ruin someone's life, you can feel as bad about it as you want, but your remorse isn't going to do a damn thing for that person and they have no obligation to ever forgive you. horace had felt guilty about what happened that day for the rest of his life and apologized dozens of times. none of it undid anything.
...
it's still that same complicated mix of feelings, but her question kind of pulls him out of it, and he looks back at her. ]
What, back home, you mean?
[ a beat, then another laugh. ]
No. Not until very recently. The short version is I ended up at a shitty orphanage run by a rotten crook, saw something I wasn't supposed to see, then spent the next twelve years in hiding from the people who were behind the whole thing who wanted to shut me up.
It was just in the last month before I ended up here that I finally got to put a plan in motion to start taking out all the people who'd made my life such a living hell.
no subject
Good. [she says, after a moment.] I hope that they suffer the consequences of what they did to you.
[that's all she had wanted, growing up. a way to get back at the thing that hurt her the most. she's not cunning enough to do something like a plan - for shenhe, revenge is straightforward. a spear through the chest, a blast of ice through the brain. but she'd had nothing to get revenge on. her father died a few days after she destroyed the monster in the cave. hung himself, out of guilt.
so to hear someone gets the chance to do this, to take back what was stolen from him in some way - well. her morals aren't really good enough to be a bigger person.]